Sunday, May 10, 2009

Chains...

So, I often find myself half-assedly defending the chain stores (particularly that evil one) that I patronize when in need of bargain household items, but I realized the other day that there is only one food-and/or-beverage chain that I frequent, and only one other that I will go to the trouble of defending in conversation. (I'd probably have to throw Baja Fresh on the list as another place if I still lived in Santa Barbara... Mmmm... Steak Ultimo....)
I'm not actually opposed to chains (and I couldn't care less about the driving-mom-&-pop-stores-out-of-business argument), I'm just opposed to paying money for what is generally really bad food when I could cook something much more delicious, healthy, and satisfying on my own. I can almost understand fast food if you're a person who's not really into cooking, but I'll never understand the sit-down chain restuarants that cost just as much as (if not more than) a "real" restaurant that you could be patronizing instead. I realized recently that I reflexively make disgusted faces when people suggest eating at these places (image below redacted because I don't like naming places/things I loathe).
That being said, the chain I haven't patronized in years but defend for nostalgic reasons is Taco Bell. Yes, the food is totally unatural. Yes, it has only a tangential (at best) connection to real Mexican food. But here's the thing: If you've been drinking beer with your friends for a few hours and suddenly realize that it's 3am and food is a GENIUS idea? There is no finer meal than Taco Bell. I would usually go with the Beef Chalupa Supreme (Supreme means "sour cream," for those of you who aren't in the know... Fiesta means "rice" for some reason, which isn't very festive at all...) and/or a 7-layer, since that was the fanciest menu item back in the day. I'm sure all the new stuff is awesome in the 3am-after-many-beers setting as well, though, because this stuff is scientifically engineered to taste oddly good at just those times... I've never had Taco Bell outside of the 3am-after-many-beers window (except maybe for breakfast on the morning following one of those nights), but I suspect it would not be quite as awesome...
Anyway, the only food-and/or-beverage chain that I do frequent and that I will defend against any and all detractors is Starbucks. Now, I'm originally from the Pacific Northwest, and coffee is one of the things we people tend to be somewhat fanatical about. I don't necessarily go to Starbucks that often if I'm in a city that loves coffee and makes it well (which is to say: a town where you can walk into a random coffee shop and know you're going to get a good espresso). It was hard to find a Starbucks in Melbourne, for example, but I didn't care because there were 7 places less than a block away from my apartment that made far superior espresso. But on the road, in small towns, and in cities that don't understand coffee (I'm looking at you, Boston), Starbucks suddenly becomes extremely important. I remember ordering an espresso at the only coffee shop in Bethlehem, PA (where I spent a summer in college) and seeing the "barista" grab a can of generic-brand instant coffee crystals to use in the espresso machine. I would have killed to have a Starbucks in that town. Similarly, in Boston people seem to think that a certain fried dough establishment is a coffee shop, which... just... No. No it is not.What I love about Starbucks is that you can get a cup of coffee (my drink being a Venti coffee (iced or hot, depending on the season) with 4 add shots) that is somewhere on the spectrum between good and awesome. The beauty of chains is that you can be in any city in the country* and walk in off the street and get exactly what you wanted. During the week I mostly make my espresso at home but, if I find myself out in the world wishing for a tasty beverage, I will head to Starbucks any day rather than taking my chances on a random place (especially in this town).
I say all of this by way of an epically long lead-up to asking the (approximately three or four) people who read my blog a question (which it would be awesome if you answer in the comments): What chains (if any) do/did you frequent (now or in your youth) and/or which ones do you find yourself defending against the haters?

*I say "country" instead of "world" because it took me over a year to figure out how to get what I wanted at the Starbucks locations in Melbourne... Apparently it is very similar to rocket science... or (as some have suggested) I am very high-maintenance...

4 comments:

Max Power said...

Oh Emmo, your arguments are silly. I find it odd that you don't see the parallel between Wal-Mart and Chili's. Both offer bland, mass-produced crap at the expense of local business. Both are devoid of local flavor, high-quality product, and culinary (or retail) innovation. Or maybe I just misread your posting.

Anyhoo, as far as my favorite chains go, I'm totally onboard with the Baja Fresh (blackbean salsa is fantastic) and Taco Bell arguments. The only addition I can add is Subway. Although I admit the sandwiches at most other places are superior, the Grilled Chicken foot-long is just 5 bucks, and I can control exactly what goes on it. It's something I can eat that I know will be reasonably healthy and cheap.

emmo said...

For me the difference between WalMart and Chili's is what you get for your money there relative to what you would get at a competitor. The food at Chili's is crap, and for the same money (or less) you could get better-tasting food at a non-chain restaurant. (I'm thinking of small ethnic restaurants in particular here, not places with Michelin stars, obviously.) WalMart does indeed lack local flavor, but they can sell me a bookcase $20 cheaper than their next lowest priced competitor can, so I'm going to buy my bookcases at WalMart. (And, actually, they do have quite a bit of retail innovation... It's just evil innovation.)

Damn... I totally miss Baja Fresh... but not enough to drive 40 miles to their nearest location any time soon. I agree with you about Subway, too (even though I haven't eaten at one in a few years). That used to be where I would stop on a road trip if I found myself with only fast food places to choose from.

Midge said...

No surprise here but I agree with Max; Wal-Mart is to junk, what Chili's is to food.

Stanley said...

I agree with Max and Midge that we should dismantle capitalism and build in its place a Utopian society where love and trust are the only currency.

I love all fast food chains. I can't even help it. I always know what I'm getting and that it will arrive quickly. Additionally, Red Robin makes a fantastic burger. Not to say that I don't usually prefer the non-chains. But sometimes McDonald's just feels so right...